To ask other readers questions about Laughable Lyrics , please sign up. Lists with This Book. Mar 29, Mark Nenadov rated it liked it Shelves: I enjoyed a number of these poems. Many of them were a little too "over the top" even for me, though. These were some great poems! I could see kids really liking them. Having read and not particularly enjoyed, Lear's other volumes of Nonsense, I didn't have high hopes for this one.
Laughable Lyrics by Edward Lear - Free Ebook
However, I was presently surprised. It's actually very enjoyable. Rebecca rated it really liked it Feb 13, Valentin Eni rated it liked it Dec 08, Ricky rated it really liked it Nov 30, Azziba rated it really liked it Jul 11, Nancy rated it really liked it Sep 30, John rated it it was amazing Dec 29, Alekzander rated it liked it Nov 17, Wreade rated it liked it Mar 24, Rebecca McCaffrey rated it it was ok Jun 20, Ilweran rated it liked it May 30, Subu rated it really liked it Sep 20, Cindy DeLong rated it it was amazing Jul 21, Morgan rated it really liked it Jan 30, Peter rated it really liked it Dec 29, Madi rated it really liked it Nov 30, Crystal Peterson marked it as to-read Oct 18, Cheryl added it Mar 29, Ben Golden marked it as to-read May 08, Barrie Mcallister marked it as to-read Aug 20, Christina Browne marked it as to-read Apr 02, James Clayton added it May 05, Ian Donnelly marked it as to-read Jan 26, Merav Hoffman marked it as to-read May 27, Tricia Kingston marked it as to-read Sep 19, Arin marked it as to-read Nov 15, Marwa added it Dec 09, But that old Sage looked calmly up, and with his awful book, At those two Bachelors' bald heads a certain aim he took; And over Crag and precipice they rolled promiscuous down,— At once they rolled, and never stopped in lane or field or town; And when they reached their house, they found besides their want of Stuffin' , The Mouse had fled—and, previously, had eaten up the Muffin.
They left their home in silence by the once convivial door; And from that hour those Bachelors were never heard of more.
K ing and Queen of the Pelicans we; No other Birds so grand we see! None but we have feet like fins! With lovely leathery throats and chins! Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee! We think no Birds so happy as we! Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican Jill! We think so then, and we thought so still. We live on the Nile. The Nile we love. By night we sleep on the cliffs above; By day we fish, and at eve we stand On long bare islands of yellow sand. And when the sun sinks slowly down, And the great rock walls grow dark and brown, Where the purple river rolls fast and dim And the Ivory Ibis starlike skim, Wing to wing we dance around, Stamping our feet with a flumpy sound, Opening our mouths as Pelicans ought; And this is the song we nightly snort,— Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!
Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill! We think so then, and we thought so still!
Last year came out our Daughter Dell, And all the Birds received her well. To do her honor a feast we made For every bird that can swim or wade,— Herons and Gulls, and Cormorants black, Cranes, and Flamingoes with scarlet back, Plovers and Storks, and Geese in clouds, Swans and Dilberry Ducks in crowds: Thousands of Birds in wondrous flight! They ate and drank and danced all night, And echoing back from the rocks you heard Multitude-echoes from Bird and Bird,— Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee! Yes, they came; and among the rest The King of the Cranes all grandly dressed.
Such a lovely tail! Its feathers float Between the ends of his blue dress-coat; With pea-green trowsers all so neat, And a delicate frill to hide his feet For though no one speaks of it, every one knows He has got no webs between his toes. As soon as he saw our Daughter Dell, In violent love that Crane King fell,— On seeing her waddling form so fair, With a wreath of shrimps in her short white hair. And before the end of the next long day Our Dell had given her heart away; For the King of the Cranes had won that heart With a Crocodile's egg and a large fish-tart.
She vowed to marry the King of the Cranes, Leaving the Nile for stranger plains; And away they flew in a gathering crowd Of endless birds in a lengthening cloud. And far away in the twilight sky We heard them singing a lessening cry,— Farther and farther, till out of sight, And we stood alone in the silent night! Often since, in the nights of June, We sit on the sand and watch the moon,— She has gone to the great Gromboolian Plain, And we probably never shall meet again!
Oft, in the long still nights of June, We sit on the rocks and watch the moon,— She dwells by the streams of the Chankly Bore. And we probably never shall see her more. Two old chairs, and half a candle, One old jug without a handle,— These were all his worldly goods: On that little heap of stones Sits the Lady Jingly Jones!
Sitting where the pumpkins blow, Will you come and be my wife? Gaze upon the rolling deep Fish is plentiful and cheap ; As the sea, my love is deep! Lady Jingly answered sadly, And her tears began to flow,— "Your proposal comes too late, Mr. I would be your wife most gladly! Dorking fowls delights to send, Mr. Keep, oh, keep your chairs and candle, And your jug without a handle,— I can merely be your friend! Should my Jones more Dorkings send, I will give you three, my friend! Will you please to go away? That is all I have to say, Mr.
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There, beyond the Bay of Gurtle, Lay a large and lively Turtle. With a sad primaeval motion Towards the sunset isles of Boshen Still the Turtle bore him well. Holding fast upon his shell, "Lady Jingly Jones, farewell! T he Pobble who has no toes Had once as many as we; When they said, "Some day you may lose them all;" He replied, "Fish fiddle de-dee! T he Pobble who has no toes, Swam across the Bristol Channel; But before he set out he wrapped his nose In a piece of scarlet flannel.
For his Aunt Jobiska said, "No harm Can come to his toes if his nose is warm; And it's perfectly known that a Pobble's toes Are safe—provided he minds his nose. The Pobble swam fast and well, And when boats or ships came near him, He tinkledy-binkledy-winkled a bell So that all the world could hear him.
And all the Sailors and Admirals cried, When they saw him nearing the further side,— "He has gone to fish, for his Aunt Jobiska's Runcible Cat with crimson whiskers! But before he touched the shore,— The shore of the Bristol Channel, A sea-green Porpoise carried away His wrapper of scarlet flannel. And when he came to observe his feet, Formerly garnished with toes so neat, His face at once became forlorn On perceiving that all his toes were gone!
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And nobody ever knew, From that dark day to the present, Whoso had taken the Pobble's toes, In a manner so far from pleasant. Whether the shrimps or crawfish gray, Or crafty Mermaids stole them away, Nobody knew; and nobody knows How the Pobble was robbed of his twice five toes! And she made him a feast, at his earnest wish, Of eggs and buttercups fried with fish; And she said, "It's a fact the whole world knows, That Pobbles are happier without their toes. T here lived an old man in the Kingdom of Tess, Who invented a purely original dress; And when it was perfectly made and complete, He opened the door and walked into the street.
By way of a hat he'd a loaf of Brown Bread, In the middle of which he inserted his head; His Shirt was made up of no end of dead Mice, The warmth of whose skins was quite fluffy and nice; His Drawers were of Rabbit-skins, so were his Shoes; His Stockings were skins, but it is not known whose; His Waistcoat and Trowsers were made of Pork Chops; His Buttons were Jujubes and Chocolate Drops; His Coat was all Pancakes, with Jam for a border, And a girdle of Biscuits to keep it in order; And he wore over all, as a screen from bad weather, A Cloak of green Cabbage-leaves stitched all together.
He had walked a short way, when he heard a great noise, Of all sorts of Beasticles, Birdlings, and Boys; And from every long street and dark lane in the town Beasts, Birdies, and Boys in a tumult rushed down. He tried to run back to his house, but in vain, For scores of fat Pigs came again and again: They rushed out of stables and hovels and doors; They tore off his stockings, his shoes, and his drawers; And now from the housetops with screechings descend Striped, spotted, white, black, and gray Cats without end: They jumped on his shoulders and knocked off his hat, When Crows, Ducks, and Hens made a mincemeat of that; They speedily flew at his sleeves in a trice, And utterly tore up his Shirt of dead Mice; They swallowed the last of his Shirt with a squall,— Whereon he ran home with no clothes on at all.
And he said to himself, as he bolted the door, "I will not wear a similar dress any more, Any more, any more, any more, never more! Discobbolos Climbed to the top of a wall. They took up a roll and some Camomile tea, And both were as happy as happy could be, Till Mrs. It has just come into my head, Suppose we should happen to fall!!!!!
And might you not break a bone? It never occurred to me before, That perhaps we shall never go down any more! What put it into your head To climb up this wall, my own Darling Mr. Discobbolos answered, "At first it gave me pain, And I felt my ears turn perfectly pink When your exclamation made me think We might never get down again!
But now I believe it is wiser far To remain for ever just where we are. It has just come into my head We shall never go down again, Dearest Mrs. Discobbolos Stood up and began to sing,— "Far away from hurry and strife Here we will pass the rest of life, Ding a dong, ding dong, ding! We want no knives nor forks nor chairs, No tables nor carpets nor household cares; From worry of life we've fled; Oh! There is no more trouble ahead, Sorrow or any such thing, For Mr. For his Hat was a hundred and two feet wide, With ribbons and bibbons on every side, And bells, and buttons, and loops, and lace, So that nobody ever could see the face Of the Quangle Wangle Quee.
But the longer I live on this Crumpetty Tree The plainer than ever it seems to me That very few people come this way And that life on the whole is far from gay! But there came to the Crumpetty Tree Mr. Canary; And they said, "Did ever you see Any spot so charmingly airy? May we build a nest on your lovely Hat?
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Quangle Wangle, grant us that! O please let us come and build a nest Of whatever material suits you best, Mr. Below her home the river rolled With soft meloobious sound, Where golden-finned Chuprassies swam, In myriads circling round. Above, on tallest trees remote Green Ayahs perched alone, And all night long the Mussak moan'd Its melancholy tone. And silvery Goreewallahs flew In silence, side by side, The little Bheesties' twittering cry Rose on the flagrant air, And oft the angry Jampan howled Deep in his hateful lair.
They sought in vain for even a bone Respectfully to bury; They said, "Hers was a dreadful fate! Nor sit out late at night, Lest horrid Cummerbunds should come, And swollow you outright. Is he tall or short, or dark or fair? Does he sit on a stool or a sofa or chair,. Is he wise or foolish, young or old? Does he drink his soup and his coffee cold,. Does he sing or whistle, jabber or talk, And when riding abroad does he gallop or walk,.
Does he wear a turban, a fez, or a hat? Does he sleep on a mattress, a bed, or a mat,. When he writes a copy in round-hand size, Does he cross his T's and finish his I's. Can he write a letter concisely clear Without a speck or a smudge or smear. Do his people like him extremely well? Or do they, whenever they can, rebel,. If he catches them then, either old or young, Does he have them chopped in pieces or hung,.
Do his people prig in the lanes or park? Or even at times, when days are dark,.